Since I forgot to post about my experience testing this past summer, since it's new years, I was doing some reflecting and thought I would share about my experience now.
For the record, I will say nothing on the specifics of the test. The test is for us in our school and if you'd like to know exactly what's in the test, the only way to find out is to earn your way up to be offered the right to test in our school. The actual contents of the test are a secret to anyone who hasn't done it, including students of the school. It's a right of passage and an amazing milestone. This reflection is more on how the test made me feel and what it took to overcome it.
So first thing is first; As I'm sure you guessed at this point, I did test for my black belt this past August, and I did pass the 3 days of exams. I can honestly say it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and that includes my TKD black belt and 2nd Dan exams as well as anything I've done in college or other parts of my life. The test consisted of 3 sessions at about 3 hours each in 1 week. They were spaced intentionally to make sure you were super sore from the previous session at each of the following sessions. My prep leading to the test was crammed into daily intensive training as soon as my school semester ended at the end of July. I did what I could prior to that but the intensity went up times 10 when my summer semester ended. I had about 3 weeks to beat myself into as good of shape as I could possibly could. This included rising at 4:30 AM to run a few miles before work and evening calisthenics and strength training as well as my 3-4 sessions in the dojo per week. I squeezed in a few extra dojo sessions when I could without disrupting my home/family life too much. I also ate as clean as possible leading up to the test.
The 3 days of testing was a trial by fire for me. I had a mild case of a stomach bug over the weekend prior to the test where I was throwing up. It was over by Saturday evening but I was still not 100% on Monday when the test began. This caused me in the third hour of testing to start to get the spins and almost, on several points, pass out. Were I to do so I have the option of stopping, but if I stopped I failed. Thankfully I had a friend there who was testing for youth black belt along side of me. At 14 I can honestly say that she's one of the most impressive individuals of her age that I've had the pleasure of knowing and her parents should be proud of her as well as commended for producing such a well adjusted teen. She is very intelligent and mature for her age (honors in school) on top of being a star athlete in her class for soccer and track, on top of what she does in karate. Throughout day 1 of the testing process, she could see how much I was hurting and for that last 1 to 1.5 hours of the test, she turned into my personal cheerleader. In that time I was literally seeing a white fog in my vision so when I say that her voice was one of the only things that was piercing the fog, I mean it literally. All I could hear was my head instructor's voice calling out instructions and her voice cheering me on which was just enough to get me to the end. We've trained together a lot already so we were already close, but I love that kid for doing that for me. I was in such bad condition at the end of the test that my instructor advised me to eat a cliff bar, drink a Gatorade and wait 30 minutes before operating a vehicle to drive myself home.
That first day scarred me. I didn't connect the stomach bug to my poor performance and felt on day 1 that I barely squeaked by. For day 2, which was supposed to be harder than day 1 due to the difference in overall activities, I did prepare better food/drink wise and being that much farther from my illness on the weekend really helped. The physical push on day 2 was more intense but because of the type of exercise on which we were focusing and my better preparedness I didn't have anywhere near as hard of a time as I did on day 1. It's funny because I think all 4 of us hit a wall at one point or another during the test where we considered quitting. Mine was day 1. The 3 teens, including the star athlete I described to you in the last paragraph seemed to have a lot more trouble on day 2. It was because of this that I got to return the cheer leading favor for my friend. There was a specific part of the test she found so trying that she broke down into tears in the middle of it. I don't know if my yelling encouragement at her helped her like her doing the same helped me but when it was over she almost collapsed. We had a 30 second break to slug down some water, and in this time I basically carried her over to the water area. She recomposed herself and we finished the day together.
Day 3, which was the Saturday of the same week, was the open session where we could have family and friends come watch us test if we wanted. I had my wife, mother, sister, father-in-law and sis-in-law and her boyfriend (who I consider a friend myself now) all there to support me. Day 3, which was supposed to be about 3-3.5 hours like days 1 and 2, ended up running long; closer to 5 hours (second longest in school history). Before we put on the gloves to spar 2 fresh kick boxers from our Muay Thai program, we were pushed so hard that I had the muscles in my left arm and right leg lock up so those limbs were basically useless. Despite this I made it through the sparring and through a BJJ match with my head instructor and came out on top earning my 1st degree black belt.
I've not felt so good about myself ever, as I did when we bowed out after receiving our belts that day. Being a person that's always had struggles with my weight, having people come up to me to shake my hand and tell me that "I was a hell of an athlete" and "it was inspirational to watch" really meant something to me that even now, months later as I write this, causes me to feel a little emotional. That's never been a way that I've viewed myself ever in my life and to hear people say those things to me forced me to look at myself in a different way. As I drove myself back to my house that evening where my wife and family waited to celebrate with me I drove slowly to reflect (I did a lot of reflecting those next few days). I actually shed a few tears on the way home and at the time I wasn't sure why. Now I know that it's because people saw me, in my rawest most exposed form. The real me. The determined me. The martial artist me. Not the chunky 33 year old guy that so many probably see me as, but as the warrior that lives at my core and when active, makes me feel like a whole person in a way that nothing else does. They saw that person, and didn't just like it, but were impressed by it, and wanted to be like it which is not something that I've ever experienced before.
I've known for a long time that martial arts makes me feel good. It's a great stress outlet and while I'm still over weight, it's also helped me lose the roughly 100 pounds that I've lost over the years and keep it off. After that test, I now know how I stack against the others in my craft. It's been said that, in our school, the Sho Biyn Ju black belt test is the hardest test our school has to offer. It makes people pass out, vomit, bleed and in many cases quit. So if you make it through it, you wear an enormous badge of respect when you put that belt around your waist afterword. It's not like buying a black belt at a Villari's or some other chain McDojo. It has depth and meaning.
So first thing is first; As I'm sure you guessed at this point, I did test for my black belt this past August, and I did pass the 3 days of exams. I can honestly say it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and that includes my TKD black belt and 2nd Dan exams as well as anything I've done in college or other parts of my life. The test consisted of 3 sessions at about 3 hours each in 1 week. They were spaced intentionally to make sure you were super sore from the previous session at each of the following sessions. My prep leading to the test was crammed into daily intensive training as soon as my school semester ended at the end of July. I did what I could prior to that but the intensity went up times 10 when my summer semester ended. I had about 3 weeks to beat myself into as good of shape as I could possibly could. This included rising at 4:30 AM to run a few miles before work and evening calisthenics and strength training as well as my 3-4 sessions in the dojo per week. I squeezed in a few extra dojo sessions when I could without disrupting my home/family life too much. I also ate as clean as possible leading up to the test.
The 3 days of testing was a trial by fire for me. I had a mild case of a stomach bug over the weekend prior to the test where I was throwing up. It was over by Saturday evening but I was still not 100% on Monday when the test began. This caused me in the third hour of testing to start to get the spins and almost, on several points, pass out. Were I to do so I have the option of stopping, but if I stopped I failed. Thankfully I had a friend there who was testing for youth black belt along side of me. At 14 I can honestly say that she's one of the most impressive individuals of her age that I've had the pleasure of knowing and her parents should be proud of her as well as commended for producing such a well adjusted teen. She is very intelligent and mature for her age (honors in school) on top of being a star athlete in her class for soccer and track, on top of what she does in karate. Throughout day 1 of the testing process, she could see how much I was hurting and for that last 1 to 1.5 hours of the test, she turned into my personal cheerleader. In that time I was literally seeing a white fog in my vision so when I say that her voice was one of the only things that was piercing the fog, I mean it literally. All I could hear was my head instructor's voice calling out instructions and her voice cheering me on which was just enough to get me to the end. We've trained together a lot already so we were already close, but I love that kid for doing that for me. I was in such bad condition at the end of the test that my instructor advised me to eat a cliff bar, drink a Gatorade and wait 30 minutes before operating a vehicle to drive myself home.
That first day scarred me. I didn't connect the stomach bug to my poor performance and felt on day 1 that I barely squeaked by. For day 2, which was supposed to be harder than day 1 due to the difference in overall activities, I did prepare better food/drink wise and being that much farther from my illness on the weekend really helped. The physical push on day 2 was more intense but because of the type of exercise on which we were focusing and my better preparedness I didn't have anywhere near as hard of a time as I did on day 1. It's funny because I think all 4 of us hit a wall at one point or another during the test where we considered quitting. Mine was day 1. The 3 teens, including the star athlete I described to you in the last paragraph seemed to have a lot more trouble on day 2. It was because of this that I got to return the cheer leading favor for my friend. There was a specific part of the test she found so trying that she broke down into tears in the middle of it. I don't know if my yelling encouragement at her helped her like her doing the same helped me but when it was over she almost collapsed. We had a 30 second break to slug down some water, and in this time I basically carried her over to the water area. She recomposed herself and we finished the day together.
Day 3, which was the Saturday of the same week, was the open session where we could have family and friends come watch us test if we wanted. I had my wife, mother, sister, father-in-law and sis-in-law and her boyfriend (who I consider a friend myself now) all there to support me. Day 3, which was supposed to be about 3-3.5 hours like days 1 and 2, ended up running long; closer to 5 hours (second longest in school history). Before we put on the gloves to spar 2 fresh kick boxers from our Muay Thai program, we were pushed so hard that I had the muscles in my left arm and right leg lock up so those limbs were basically useless. Despite this I made it through the sparring and through a BJJ match with my head instructor and came out on top earning my 1st degree black belt.
I've not felt so good about myself ever, as I did when we bowed out after receiving our belts that day. Being a person that's always had struggles with my weight, having people come up to me to shake my hand and tell me that "I was a hell of an athlete" and "it was inspirational to watch" really meant something to me that even now, months later as I write this, causes me to feel a little emotional. That's never been a way that I've viewed myself ever in my life and to hear people say those things to me forced me to look at myself in a different way. As I drove myself back to my house that evening where my wife and family waited to celebrate with me I drove slowly to reflect (I did a lot of reflecting those next few days). I actually shed a few tears on the way home and at the time I wasn't sure why. Now I know that it's because people saw me, in my rawest most exposed form. The real me. The determined me. The martial artist me. Not the chunky 33 year old guy that so many probably see me as, but as the warrior that lives at my core and when active, makes me feel like a whole person in a way that nothing else does. They saw that person, and didn't just like it, but were impressed by it, and wanted to be like it which is not something that I've ever experienced before.I've known for a long time that martial arts makes me feel good. It's a great stress outlet and while I'm still over weight, it's also helped me lose the roughly 100 pounds that I've lost over the years and keep it off. After that test, I now know how I stack against the others in my craft. It's been said that, in our school, the Sho Biyn Ju black belt test is the hardest test our school has to offer. It makes people pass out, vomit, bleed and in many cases quit. So if you make it through it, you wear an enormous badge of respect when you put that belt around your waist afterword. It's not like buying a black belt at a Villari's or some other chain McDojo. It has depth and meaning.
Having gone through black belt exams before I didn't expect what happened this August to be like it was, which was truly transformative. I hope all of you martial artists out there, get to experience that feeling at some point in your journey.
Train on.
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